At the post office, I found myself writing a bit of a pastiche of an old classic:

Passport Hours: 10:30-4:30

Nice work hours if you can get ‘em

NOTICE: TO SERVE YOU BETTER, PASSPORT SERVICE IS NOW BY APPOINTMENT ONLY

And you can work less, if you try!

1:40 PM:

Applicant has been waiting since around 1:30 PM, occasionally ringing doorbell.

Postal Service Employee (annoyed, poking head around door she is holding mostly closed): When’s your appointment?

Applicant: My appointment was at 1:30, Ma’am

Postal Service Employee (even more annoyed): Can’t be at this post office. You must be at the wrong post office. I have lunch from 1 to 2.

…

Suddenly, I find myself thinking that privatizing postal service might be a good idea after all. Also, putting the phrase “to serve you better” on a sign or form should be a federal offense, publishable by standing in line at a post office for 10 years.